101 questions for dating couples
“While you might not be ready to call the wedding off, having cold feet means it’s time to do some emotional work around getting married.” Therapy and some serious one-on-one time with your spouse-to-be are both smart choices; sifting through your thoughts and concerns is the only way to make it to the altar in one piece.But if still doesn’t feel right, calling it off can be the right decision, even if it’s last-minute.Here are your pre-wedding topics for discussion: If you dig your way through these issues with your betrothed and find you don’t see eye-to-eye on everything, don’t panic -- disagreeing is not a recipe for divorce.“Sometimes there are differences that are sizeable in these area, and that’s OK -- you don’t want to marry your clone,” says Weston.“You just have to balance between how much you alter your life and how much your spouse alters his or hers, or you just agree to disagree.” Still, explains Weston, it’s important that your individual differences are well understood, and ideally, those differences should come out of the closet well before the down payment is made on a ring.
No interrogating (no need to ask all 100 questions at once); no vague "so, what's new with you? How do you make a marriage that will last until death do you part?From the jitters to cold feet, to the burning questions you should ask each other and come to terms on before you walk down the aisle, experts give Web MD a crash course in building a marriage that will last a lifetime.“The personal ads where they say, ‘I like to take long walks on the beach,’ those things are minor,” says Louanne Cole Weston, Ph D, a marriage and family therapist.“It’s life philosophies that matter in a marriage.” What’s on the checklist of life a couple should talk through before the wedding bells start to toll?Nobody wants to later feel like "I can't believe that they feel that way" So while you're in the "getting to know you" phase, here's some great and intimate questions to spur conversation and honesty. What was the first thing that attracted you about me? Do you think that physical attributes are more important to maintaining a successful relationship or do you think that friendship maintains a relationship? When you look at a woman, what is the first thing you notice? Do you think it's ok to keep noticing another woman after you are in a committed relationship? How do you feel if I come into the bathroom when you are using the facilities? Ever noticed that when you first meet someone, you always put your best foot forward? There's certainly nothing wrong with that, as long as it's the real you! What is the first thing that you notice when you look at a man? If I don't say so, how do you know that I want to make love? “We want to dig through the big issues,” says Dan, from Albany, N. “We know where we each stand on some of the them, and while we don’t agree 100% on everything, we still know that our relationship is built on something solid.” Dan and his betrothed are making all the right moves, with a focus on building a marriage that will last by working through some of life’s big-ticket items.But all couples aren’t as pragmatic, and intentionally or not, they ignore the writing on the wall, leading to a bad case of wedding fever that turns from the jitters into cold feet and then a nasty bout of the marriage blues.